Safe As I'll Ever Be

Let's hear it for training week. It feels like I went on a four day road trip, minus the tunes, fun stops, and exciting destinations: sitting in place for seven hours a day, staring out the window and wishing I was doing something, anything else. I suppose it's the most efficient way of delivering important information to the largest number of people possible, but it's probably the most painful as well. The weekend arrived just in time.

The most exciting day by far was our survival training on Tuesday. The instructor was a basket case from Sitka, kind of like an older Jim Carrey hopped up on something illegal. He spent all morning telling stories, waving his arms, throwing props around, and instilling in us the basics of surviving in a northern marine climate. The afternoon is when things really got interesting.

After a lunch break we all met at Rotary Beach, south of town. We helped haul duffels and dry bags down to the beach where we got some hands-on experience. The instructor pointed out Scottish loveage, licorice fern, chocolate lily, twisted stalk, goose tongue, and cow parsnip. All of these are edible plants found along the coast; the last is questionably edible, but will definitely give you a wicked photosensitive rash if you mess with it. Next was fire making - my team froze to death before we could get anything going. We got to set off flares, toss smoke canisters, and basically wreak havoc in the name of survival.

Last and best we got to try out float coats and survival suits. These are all bright orange (the better to spot you bobbing around in the ocean), keep you from sinking, and are varying degrees of waterproof. My suit was an extra large so I resembled an oompa-loompa waddling down to the water's edge. They are remarkably effective and actually pretty comfortable, not to mention supremely fashionable and flattering. After that quick dip I shed my outer layer and tested my friend's PFD and my own cold-water tolerance. Granted, the sun had come out in patches by this point, and I was wearing my neoprene paddle gear, but after 20 minutes that 48 degree water is still pretty dang chilly. The worst part is when you actually get out of the water and the cold really hits you. It took me a long while to warm up afterwards, but the looks of disbelief I received from the peanut gallery on the shore were well worth it.